That’s What I Am Here For

The laundry wont fold itself.

The book wont read itself.

This blog wont write itself.

That’s what your friendly neighborhood May May is for.

You’re welcome.

Consumation

I love her.

I do.

It’s there, its in black and white, I said that.

I love her.

But why do I want to eat her?

Every time she lays her cheek against mine I want to consume her.

I want to ingest everything she is, I want to swallow her whole.

I want to bathe in her blood and gnaw on her insides.

It’s unnatural this predilection.

Maybe I need help.

I have lost others before. I have done this before.

I have gotten away with it.

Until I didn’t.

And she knows this. And yet, she still visits.

She still hugs me. She still lets me smell her.

I love her.

And I am so grateful that there is bars between us.

Because if they weren’t there, I would consume her.

Incarceration means she lives.

Thank God.

And now… the hook.

The hook was placed conveniently inconspicuously.

Just the way I liked it.

The girl stopped crying. Her gag was still tight, but her green eyes were very wide.

I smiled and prepared my space. I could feel the tension rising.

Then it was time. I was ready.

Her ties had gotten looser. She could have gotten out. That was not smart of me.

I filed it for another day. Today was about this.

Tears were spilling down her cheeks as I secured her to my hook.

I stood back, and admired my work.

And now.

We begin.

Spoilers

“And then Captain America and Iron Man….”

The death glare was making my cheek twitch. He would not shut up.

“Bran Stark rode in on his wheel chair and…”

This was too much. He had to stop soon, right? Every time he opens his mouth, something else gets ruined…

“And then Taylor Swift dropped….”

And I pulled the knife from the block behind me. I ran it across his throat and as the blood welled through his fingers and his wide eyes stared at me with fear and wonder I gave him my best bad guy soliloquy.

“I invited you into my house. I fed you my food and you do nothing but spoil what I hold dear. The surprises that many people went years into creating just for our enjoyment. And now I cant enjoy their hard work. Thanks to you. Well, I hope I have spoiled things for you. You are going to die. Right here, on my kitchen floor. I will bury you in the back yard. I doubt people will miss you and your big mouth. Enjoy eternity asshole. I hope the devil doesn’t spoil all the damnation he has waiting for you.”

The light left his eyes and I am relieved. The last girl wasn’t buried yet, I could do a two for.

This day was just getting better and better. Maybe now, I can be surprised.

Betwixt us

The gauntlet was thrown.

I looked at her. Really?

This was the battle ground? This was the place?

Well, it could have been worse.

I lower myself to the ground. I am intentional about it. I look at her and raise my eyebrow. An unspoken invitation.

She ahems and lowers herself beside me.

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. The energy beside me eases and I realize she is doing the same. I don’t know how long we sit there, I lose track. Good. This is working.

Monkey mind has fucked off for the day. This is what I am talking about.

Then the earth around me rumbles. I ignore it. I cant lose this groove, not when I have worked so hard for it.

The energy beside me remains as calm as I am trying to portray.

And then I am in free fall. I don’t know what happened, but as my legs fall from their cross, I open my eyes and stare into hers.

She is 6 inches shorter than me, but we are eye to eye. We look around, and where there once was a yard and grass, here there is nothing.

Her grin devours her face.

“We did it!”

“Yeah, I guess we did… what now?”

“Savor it. Just be.”

Hallucination or not, you cant deny the peace and the power of this place.

So I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

And the energy beside me does the same.

Key?

The remedy

ALWAYS

comes back to you.

I am trying to find a loophole.

I am sure there is one out there.

But at the end of the day, I am not sure I care.

Because all I know is…

How am I going to find the answer?

Preacher Man

Overheard on a street corner:

“They say Jesus wept?

No dawg, Jesus cried like a bitch baby.

He was scared shitless of the path before him.

And you know what he did?

He followed it anyway.

That’s love, man.

God loved the world so much he gave up his son?

Maybe. But his son loved us so much he gave up everything else.

And that’s more than enough for me.”

*Nods*

“Hun, come here. You look tragic. What happened?” Hector grabbed Eugene’s hand in a way that he hoped was supportive and not needy. He was uncomfortable with unnecessary physical contact, but he knew that Eugene said that sometimes he needed a little more and Hector wanted to show that he listened.

Eugene sat on the white leather sofa they bought the year before. Oh how they had squealed at the round lines and the mod vibe. It seemed irrelevant now.

“It’s bad, hun. It’s so bad.” Eugene let his head fall into his hands so Hector wouldn’t see the tears.

“Can you tell me about it?”

“That’s the worst part!” Now Eugene was crying, deep gasping sobs that made Hector’s eyes well up in empathy.

“Worse case scenario?”

Eugene nodded. It was barely perceptible over his heaving shoulders, but it was there.

Hector didn’t question him, he went to the bedroom and pulled out a suitcase. After checking the contents he walked back out to the living room.

He laid the suitcase on the coffee table and opened it up. He looked at the man, his lover for over two years now, and he couldn’t help the tear that fell.

“Eugene, honey, how I wish you wouldn’t have done that.”

He pulled the glock out and attached the silencer. Eugene still had his head in his hands, but the wailing was tapering off.

Hector walked around the couch, and placed the pistol against the back of Eugene’s head.

“Sometimes, being a government agent has its perks. Sometimes you fall in love. This is definitely the worst part of the job for me. I am sorry, you couldn’t be trusted.”

There was a wump and Eugene fell forward, dead. Hector placed a call on his cell phone and left his apartment for the last time. The clean up crew would take care of the rest.

Sometimes NDAs were harmless. Sometimes they cost money. Occasionally they turned deadly. You go to work on the government dime, you never know what your gonna get.